Why I Cut My Hair
Why I Cut My Hair: @misfit_cearra
Cutting my hair has truly been one of my most freeing experiences. For weeks I went back and forth with myself about whether I could actually do it. And it wasn’t until after I accepted that my relationship was truly over that I found the confidence in myself to make the change. I looked at the act of cutting my hair as me starting fresh and turning over a new leaf. Embarking on a journey where my happiness and confidence are derived solely from within and was not dependent on the validation of the person that I was with or anybody else for that matter. A journey where I learn to truly love myself.
When the date of my appointment arrived, I literally sat in my car for fifteen minutes before entering the salon. I prayed and went back and forth with myself understanding that once I walked through those doors there was no turning back. I thought of all of the events that had brought me there: the tears, the heartbreak, the disappointments, the lost of my self-worth, and the list can go on for days. But even as tears streamed down my face in that moment I smiled slightly because I knew that this was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. A chapter where I was in full control.
Depression and anxiety have haunted me since my early teen years. They played a major role in my low self-esteem and has always caused me to become so attached to the point where I would stay in unhealthy relationships way longer than I should. As I sat in the stylist’s chair and watched as my hair dropped to the floor it felt as if all of the baggage of my past that has haunted me for so long fell as well. At that moment there was no one telling me how I should look, how I should wear my hair, or what was best for me. The weight that I had been carrying on my back for the last twenty-four years disappeared and I was free.
My goal at this point is to become whole and spiritually full. My advice to anyone that is experiencing any kind of turmoil, stress, or heartbreak in their life is to keep pushing. Step out of your comfort zone and make a change. Never forget that your originality is your most beautiful quality. And even though it may not seem like it right now better days will come. As I currently face my own storm I remind myself of this each day!
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