Relationships

Is it worth “The Wait?”

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When I was in high school, I participated in the program called “True Love Waits,” which is geared toward helping teens make the decision to wait until marriage to have sex. During the six-week program, we learned about what God had to say about sex, and the instructors even threw in a graphic slideshow about STDs to scare us from even thinking about touching each other. At the end of the program, I signed an abstinence pledge that I’d wait until marriage to have sex, which (at the time) I was 100% sure I’d never break.

Fast forward three years, a move to Arkansas for college and my first naive experiences with dating — I broke the promise I made when I was 16. From there, there were times where I tried celibacy, succeeding for bursts of time, but only to be drawn back in from a partner that wasn’t on the celibacy train. After a hard breakup last year, I decided to examine the relationship pattern I had created for myself and how sex often times caused more headaches than it was worth and how it often became a bandaid for other, deeper issues. I realized that doing it “my way” simply wasn’t working.

[bctt tweet=”I realized that doing it my way simply wasn’t working.” username=””]

At that time, I heard about Meagan Good and Devon Franklin’s upcoming book called “The Wait,” that chronicled their relationship journey and their decision to be celibate until marriage. It was inspiring to see a young couple that most likely faced more temptation than me in their everyday lives as celebrities living in Hollywood be able to make a decision and stick to it.

I loved how they went beyond the “because God said so” (which is an important reason), and talked about the mental, emotional, physical and relational benefits of waiting — it puts you in the driver’s seat to make rational decisions about what’s ultimately best for you and it keeps you from making decisions based on “instant gratification.”

[bctt tweet=”Waiting puts you in control, and allows you to think about your wellbeing first.” username=””]

Also, the story of Ciara and Russell Wilson, and stories of single celebs such as Jessica White, inspired me to give the celibate life another try.

I purchased the book as soon as it was available, and I was not disappointed. Some people may be turned off by “The Wait” since there is a strong tie to Christian ideals and values, but Meagan and Devon made it clear early on that their message isn’t about “shaming or passing moral judgement” on others, and that Christians and Non-Christians can follow their book alike.

[bctt tweet=”The Wait isn’t about shaming or passing moral judgment — there’s plenty of good advice for Christians and Non-Christians alike.” username=””]

They pointed out that “The Wait” only begins with saying “no” to sex, but that’s not where it ends. It’s about being selective about who you spend your time with, who you date and let into your life (Less f***boys around!). It’s about building up the patience and discipline to make yourself better at all levels of life (career, finances, health, etc).

[bctt tweet=”Meagan & Devon say The Wait begins with saying no to sex — but that’s definitely NOT where it ends.” username=””]

But the true “crown jewel” of the book is that they give you an actionable, step-by-step process to begin a life of celibacy — something that was missing from my “True Love Waits” program. They help you identify your triggers, i.e. Netflix and Chill sessions, and give steps on how to avoid that situation that may lead you away from your goal.

Megan drops some pearls of wisdom for the ladies, such as challenging the idea that “there’s only a few good men out there,” so we as women, have to do what we can to attract and keep them — even if it hurts us.

[bctt tweet=”Don’t believe there’s only a few good men left and that you have to do whatever it takes to get one, even if it hurts you.” username=””]

There’s so much more I could say about “The Wait,” but it’s definitely worth taking out a few hours or days to pore through the book. Even though you might not agree with everything, there’s a few gems that can help you take control of your sex life — whether it’s waiting until marriage or not.

The Wait is available at all bookstores and on iBooks and Google Play. 

 


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